Midlife Crisis

Great song! the end.
Well maybe not.
I have stated before that I did far too many stupid things in my youth to bother having one, but it's still fun to look at the things many do in their middle age and evaluate them.

First and foremost move the goalposts of where middle aged is. I am middle aged, there is a very slim likelihood of me surviving much more than the number of years I have already lived, so I am around the middle of my life. Many try pushing this further away to avoid classing themselves as middle aged, this simply tells everyone else you are definitely there.

Finding yourself. Voyages of self-discovery are a big thing and often used as an excuse to buy an unnecessary vehicle, go on a road trip, and pretend you are in your late teens when in truth you have children of that age, or could legally have. Harley Davidson would go bankrupt if this trend stopped along with many others who make profit from people trying to rough it in five star comfort without exceeding their credit limit. I did the running away part and did many stupid things en route. Couldn't afford a Harley or often even a roof, and was genuinely in my late teens when doing so. Finding myself didn't happen until I stopped running and looked inward and forward rather than outward, that part was not fun in any way and I am glad I did it before middle age.

The big bike. Harley was mentioned, there are many others bought to reclaim a sense of youthful exuberance. I have owned a bike with an engine made by Harley, it was great fun, totally unnecessary and I got rid of it when I realised that going out on the bike meant not being with my infant son. Born again bikers are a menace on the roads and insurance companies are so aware of this that they have released figures showing them as being almost as high risk as new riders. There is a certain bizarre pleasure watching someone who doesn't realise how much more power is being produced by a 600cc engine now than a 1000cc could 20 years ago, holding on for dear life when they wind back the throttle and try to avoid disaster.
The above is also true for sports cars, except I have never had one.

The affair. Unfortunately too many don't spend enough time and effort ensuring their life partner is the right one, this has given rise to a number of myths about how old married couples are and how unhappy it makes them. The all too common result of this is the affair. Today this takes many forms sometimes just taking place in virtual games, via text message etc. much as these can seem silly and harmless it is still a sign that they are thinking outside of the relationship they swore to for life, likely either financially too tied in or similar to escape.
I said I would never marry, largely because I saw divorce was so easy and later because the person in a number of those affairs was me. Fair to say I had a poor opinion of marriage in many ways. Ironically the core issue was that I never thought I would find someone that I could promise to stay with for the rest of my life, knowing that we all change over time, I always thought of this as a set of promises before witnesses, and refused to break such serious promises. Obviously I was wrong, but because I spent so much time with various Miss Wrongs I was able to identify the real Miss Right, eventually. I got better than I deserved, and this is one part of a midlife crisis that would never happen.

Getting the body back. Many people spend decades, driving, drinking, eating junk and generally abusing their bodies in the name of good living. All of a sudden they look at the mirror and the teenage photo and realise they aren't easily identified as the same person. This one is easy for me to take the mick out of as I am fitter than most half my age and have told people in that age group wondering how I could be like me at my age that it was by starting before I was their age. However I am not what one would call pretty, and my satisfaction with my ability doesn't come with the image of magazine perfection. The 8 to 10% body fat I had when caring about my image has blown to 15 to 17% meaning there is a six pack if I pose but just a fur lined variation between one and four most of the time. I do cite that one big advantage of being married is only having to impress one woman, she's happy, so am I.
For those who haven't lived like me i.e. normal people, the crisis method usually involves buying expensive equipment and clothing, club memberships and trying all of the latest crazes expecting their body to perform as if they had done this their whole lives. The resulting sight of someone shoehorned into lycra, or sweatsuits pedalling like crazy on the latest high tech bike, or trying to figure out how to get tea out of their new kettlebells is great, and the sight of them trying to move the next day is even more so. There are many who do this sensibly but they aren't the topic.
The next step of course is to declare that the exercise they did is bad for you or that they used to be able to do this so should be able to again, then buy diet plans they don't stick to electric stimulation devices, truly hilarious, or push themselves until they end up in hospital.

The big cover up. Hair dye, toupees, thick make up, age defying creams and every other product that is designed to hide the fact you are getting older. Physically I am fit, but there is no escaping the fact my face could use a darned good iron what hair I have left on my head is going grey along with the rest of it. I don't look like I'm in my teens or early twenties anymore, in fact I didn't when I was so I wasn't going to look younger in later years.
There is the expression that women spend more time on makeup than education because most men see better than they think, definitely truth there and it works as well both directions, trust me. As such this could be deemed more than a little unfair after all why shouldn't people make the most of what they have, or at least pretend to have what they don't. Well there is likely to be a time when the person you are acting for gets to see the real you, if you using a stack of makeup, both genders are now buying the stuff, wearing a girdle, inflatable wonderbra etc. there will be the time when you are standing before your new found partner without all of this and worried sick of what they will think, although in reality they will likely be doing the same.

Trying to be hip. For a start, I doubt very much that the latest term for being part of the youth scene is hip, secondly get real. You may well find yourself using the right words, if you are lucky maybe 75% of them in the right places, but any thoughts that the kids are seeing you as one of their own will soon disappear when they ask you what it was like when the latest retro tunes were new. Even if you have kept in shape and can move better than professional dancers in the videos, you will still be less hip than the 18 year old doing the funky chicken half a beat out of time. Youth scenes are exactly what they say, it's no longer a case of too much, too young more what's that looking over the hill is it a monster (forgive the slight name change). In the hip and happening scene age is crucial, teens are good young twenties are acceptable, older twenties are a bit, haven't they moved on yet, but if the first number in your age is above a 2 they will be expecting a zimmer frame at the very least, and the younger you act the older they will see you as.

Running 28-May-2013

Not massively impressive but relatively consistant.

Distance 5.28 miles time 41:19 pace 7.67mph

Squats 28-May-2013

Day late. In the UK we had a bank holiday weekend which inspired the family to go to a park and me to do various things in the name or propelling my son around in circles or up high, more of a workout than many gym goers do, and certainly more than I did today.
Sum total of this was a very happy son, and serious aches for a few days, we were there around 3.5 hours. No issues from my back other than a bit of stiffness later.

Squats 3 sets of 10 with 70, 80 & 90kg
Kettlebell goblet squat 3 x 10 12kg

Felt fairly easy throughout, one rep on third set of squats put pressure on my back but very little and nothing to worry about. I appear to have gotten away with this one quite well.
Running at lunchtime, which will likely mean 2 showers one while running and one after.

Running 24-May-2013

Not as bad as it could have been. Wasn't going full out as was a bit concerned for my back, no problems at all but better safe than sorry. Yes I really did say that.

Distance 5.27 miles, time 41:09 pace 7.69mph

Deadlifts 24-May-2013

This was the session I was dreading going badly. Scary moment but not as bad as it could have been.

Kettlebell high pulls 3 x 10 with 12kg kettle

Deadlifts with 70kg 2 set of 5 and 4

set of 5 gave me a mild scare, as felt mild straining in the back on 5th rep.
Second set was without any scares and I feel OK. Will take a while to get back to it properly, but I am confident I will.

Running later, and that will test how well I am repairing.

Running 22-May-2013

Distance 5.27, time 40:55 pace 7.73mph

Not easy by any means, but didn't feel as punishing as on Monday.

Bench Remedial 22-May-2013

Bench press 3 x 10 40kg
Felt really easy as it should will definately be going to 50 next week. Kind of impressed with my patience for not doing so this week.
2 sets push ups on suspension trainer, 8 and 7. This is when I realised it was good to have kept it easy, this wasn't hard but I could feel the potential risk on my back and I have running at lunch time.

For me an intelligent session, shocking I know.

Remedial Squats - 21-May-2013

Could feel the pressure on my back for every rep but it was safe and I will be able to build back up.

Squats 3 x 10 70Kg

Assisted long and deep lunges holding suspension trainer, purely mobility and range work.

Running 20-May-2013

Excuses first. Humidity made breathing even more pathetic, I am still recovering etc.
Truth time, today was hard work, I seemed to produce a lot of sweat, breath hard and give it hell but not get anywhere.
Still above the minimum I want to be getting but not even close to my 8mph target.

Distance 5.3 miles, time 41:40, pace 7.63mph.

Not happy bunny today, likely to be even less so tomorrow after moderate weights. Will be a grumpy old git for a few weeks.

Running 17-May-2013

Legs, hips, even knees and arms felt this one today. Happy that it is improvement on last one, but felt so much harder I feel it should have been better still.
Breathing struggled, but that's normal, my lungs are pathetic.
Distance 5.29, getting consistant now, time 40.54, pace 7.76mph.

Fast Recovery - The Bodies Forgivenness

I am constantly amused by the number of people who view my lifestyle as healthy. I am teetotal, don't smoke or partake of the array of recreational narcotics enjoyed by many, I drink masses of water and have stable healthy bodyfat, blood pressure and heart rate, so on the surface understandable. The big glowing red herring however is my fitness obsession prompting many to declare me as very fit and healthy.

I am currently in an enforced rest period because once again I pushed myself too far. In fairness this is the first actual injury in 3.5 years, the last being a dislocated shoulder, but I spend so much of my time right on the border of injury that my training cannot be deemed healthy.
This is also the latest in a line of events where I have recovered far quicker than most would think I deserved including me. A good example was around 9 years ago when I crushed my toes in the tail lift of a truck, when at hospital several hours later I declared that it was only flesh damage as it would have hurt more if I had broken something, x-ray showed 3 toes broken one in 2 places, those thinking this is a tough guy boast I didn't know how much a broken toe should hurt and did scream rather well when doing it. The injury is not so much the point as the recovery, day of hospital visit I was issued crutches and given anti-inflammatories and offered painkillers, knowing I am too stupid not to damage myself unless there is pain I refused the latter. Next day the crutches went back, I wasn’t ready just hated the crutches more than the discomfort of walking. A week later I was cycling to work, the next week 2 days were running, the trip was around 6 miles.
Now I am older and should apparently be wiser, so when I hurt my back training that should have seen me partaking of bed rest and being sensible, not driving, working, and playing with my son in the park. Considering the damage was caused less than 2 weeks ago I certainly shouldn’t be partaking of one of the highest impact activities around, running, but I am and wanting to be back to pace soon.

I treat my body as something that must do as it is told regardless of how stupid the demand, and in general it does it. There is a certain amount of my recovery that is due to my fitness level but I think some of it is tolerance. I accept a greater level of pain than most in the pursuit of what I want, to any thinking this is advice to follow, please consider I wake up in pain daily and part of my justification for training at high intensity is that I may as well hurt from the previous day or so as from damage I cause many years ago.

I have no idea what it would take for me to be realistic and start ‘acting my age’ with sensible moderate training on a long term basis, and hopefully I will never find out.

My fast recovery has led to a certain level of arrogance where I know I have recovered quickly in the past and expect it all of the time, mercifully I have been right so far, he says feeling soreness in his back from the lunchtime run.

Don’t know whose quote this is but it is a favourite.
I am immortal until proven otherwise!

Running 15-May-2013

It is such a good job my body is more forgiving of me than I am of it.
I wanted to start back to weight training this week, but that would be too much.
Running today was much better than expected. I felt the effect of running downhill at the latter end, but I haven't lost much.
Distance 5.28 miles, time 41:10 pace 7.7mph

Running 15-May-2013

Today's run was far better than I deserve. Short to be sensible at 2.45 miles but done in 19:10 to give a pace of 7.66mph.
weight training will have to be gentle for a while, looking forward to that like another hole in the head, but I am recovering quicker than I deserve.

Unrealistic Targets - Are They A Good Idea?

I tend to have two sets of targets in training and general life, one that I have as my I will do that, and one where I would like to do it.
The former is generally hard work but sensibly achievable, the latter is often unrealistic and usually out of reach.
As someone who hates failing in general why would I do that to myself? What is the benefit?

Well I have achieved many of my unrealistic goals in the past and can look back at what seemed unrealistic years ago and realise that I am doing those things easily now.
It was unrealistic to expect myself to be able to bench press 60kg once upon a time, my current unrealistic goal is 100kg, and I am probably able to do 90 or close to at the moment for 1RM.
It was unrealistic to expect someone to take me seriously enough to invest feelings and effort to convert the a hole I was into a decent husband and father but I did it and we are a solid happy family. This was so unrealistic I never even set it as a target.

Many of the things I have set as targets have had a time frame and that has usually been where I have failed. This year’s training targets are powerlifting stats of 200/100/210 and regular running pace of 8mph over the 5.25 mile route I am using. On their own neither of these are too ridiculous as I am close enough to them to be able to get them within the year, but to increase power and stamina at the same time is not easy and there is a strong likelihood that success in one will result in failure in the other. I want to be wrong as I have been in the past, and truth is managing one fully and getting closer to the other will feel like success but I like to aim high.
There are a few unrealistic targets I have outside of this which are less unrealistic but may involve a certain amount of luck.

I do remember setting targets that weren't time sensitive and achieving them in the past, the feeling when you get there is awesome. One that I remember was being good enough to be in a formal dance performance. I danced for many years, ballet and contemporary and I progressed from an uncoordinated mess to a reasonable standard, but only the blind would fail to see the difference between me and a professional dancer. However back in 2000 I did it and loved it.

I think unrealistic targets are a good idea and will always have them, but I keep the achievable in mind too. Achieving minimum is time for a smile, the unrealistic is Archimedes time, though running down the street naked is not compulsory.
There is however a danger. Pushing yourself this hard all of the time causes regular injuries even if they are minor and does make you hard to be around. The important thing is to remember you are the obsessive freak and everyone else is normal, so doesn't care.

Deadlift 02-May-2013

Not a good day. Sometimes overload becomes overdo, and today was one of them.

Deadlift
110kg 10
140kg 6
Unfortunately I did the 6th because I thought it was a good idea, it wasn't and I have hurt my back. Nothing major I think but enough that all I did after that was some stretches and 2 pull ups to assess damage.

Hopefully OK to run tomorrow

Bench and running 01-May-2013

Bench press session same style as squats pyramid on primary and no rest with other two.

70kg 10
80kg 4 (not best pleased with that)
82.5kg 2 (not surprised after set 2 but still less than happy)
70kg 6
40kg 10

push press 40kg and push ups on suspension trainer
10 + 8
2 + 6
3 + 4 (3 is generous, 2nd one got close to the top of the movement but not quite)

Think I need to drop the push press weight for this.

Running was better than I expected. Mile 4 was where my legs decided to complain about the squat session yesterday, I ignored them as much as I could and the feeling largely subsided for the last mile and a quarter.

Distance 5.29 miles, really not sure what is going on there.
Time 40:05 pace pace 7.92mph