Scottish potted history (inaccurate and strange)

UK Celts are a proud crew, having totally missed the point of the Greeks assigning the term to anyone they deemed savage and barbaric in ancient times, first to be tarred this way were a group of French. However the average Scot is unlikely to care about the opinions of a group whose toughest race were predominantly homosexual.

The major reason that this pride confused me was that the Celts were at the furthest flung reaches of the UK because they ran away from England when it was invaded. The Scots in particular confuse me here, with good reason.
Most of the earliest invaders were small bands coming over from nearby, like the Angles from where England gets its name. The first time a serious organised, trained and disciplined army came over to this country as a serious threat, i.e. the Romans it would have been reasonable to expect this crew who had run away before would do so again. However they decided this would be a good time to stand up and fight, it appears they hadn't as much been running away as waiting for a challenge. Their lust for a fight hasn't waned since.

Some of the things the stereotypical Scot is known for have interesting history too. The kilt and bagpipes were stolen from the Irish, evidently by a group of men who felt that sexual equality should work both ways and that men should be allowed to wear skirts too, they obviously had nice legs. The bagpipes I can only assume were a form of torture effective at repelling the English they loath so much.

The general system of fighting and thieving that was likely stolen from the English, has served to keep Scotland as a separate country and now by cunning use of politics an independent one subsidised by English money, that they are stupid enough to give away. These Scots are many things, dumb is not one of them.

Any reading this finding it offensive, please get a life. I don't dislike Scotland or its people any more than other areas or nationalities, in fact I have enjoyed visiting there more than many places. I like history and find some of it funny when viewed from point of bias I know to be at least mildly inaccurate and sometimes totally ridiculous. There will be others posted here, I will of course accept corrections and insults about these posts, especially if they are amusing.