Deadlift session 10, 8, 6
Deadlift 145, 152.5, 160kg 3reps last set
Single arm deadlift using cable and kettle bell for handle 67, 77, 87kg
Stiff leg deadlift on bosu 100, 110 (5), 110kg There are good reasons to increase weight, I don't think, oops put too much on can't be bothered changing it is one. Still got 100kg for 10 reps though, even if it should have been 90.
Upright row cable ext. chain -6 links 30, 40, 50kg got 2 terrible reps, too heavy. Done the exercise at long last.
28 February 2013
27 February 2013
Bench 26-Feb-2013
Bench press session 10, 8, 6
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 72.5, 77.5, 82.5kg last set 5 reps
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest between first second set 24kg alternates for third set got all 6, 1 on right 2 on left needed leg assist, less assistance than last week
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 60, 65 4 reps 65kg rest between first 2 sets too short
Dips on suspension trainer 10, 5 hurt shoulder so stopped
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 72.5, 77.5, 82.5kg last set 5 reps
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest between first second set 24kg alternates for third set got all 6, 1 on right 2 on left needed leg assist, less assistance than last week
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 60, 65 4 reps 65kg rest between first 2 sets too short
Dips on suspension trainer 10, 5 hurt shoulder so stopped
26 February 2013
My way of writing
One hobby I would love to devote more time to is writing. I am not declaring I am any good at it but I enjoy it none the less.
I have a couple of novels at different stages and have started looking at one that I thought was close to completion yesterday, and saw I was wrong.
My normal method of writing is below in chronological order
Type like a retarded chimp whilst thinking through the story, with some idea of direction and key events. This produces something poorly written but hopefully with reasonable content, some good ideas and potential. This is my equivalent of planning stage. One of my novels is at this stage, and already too long.
Realise the work I have produced is far too long and needs to be trimmed down, sometimes by as much as half, on at least one occasion more.
Rewrite this piece repeatedly until I have become so used to it I fail to see where the trimming and rewriting has made it almost unreadable.
Leave it for a while, come back to it, and either throw it away or rewrite it again in English. This is where I am with the second novel, all others have been ditched at that stage.
This is not what most would call an efficient writing technique, but it's how I work.
Those of you who can actually write and do it properly with planning, a few flow charts and loads of research, congratulations and you will undoubtedly produce infinitely better stuff than I do. I do this for the fun of it so the fact I have produced a load of stuff in the past that was so bad I simply threw it out doesn’t bother me as much as maybe it should.
I would like to write something that would be worth publishing, and have others enjoy it, but until then my work will remain very exclusive, in other words too rubbish for public vewing.
I have a couple of novels at different stages and have started looking at one that I thought was close to completion yesterday, and saw I was wrong.
My normal method of writing is below in chronological order
Realise the work I have produced is far too long and needs to be trimmed down, sometimes by as much as half, on at least one occasion more.
Rewrite this piece repeatedly until I have become so used to it I fail to see where the trimming and rewriting has made it almost unreadable.
Leave it for a while, come back to it, and either throw it away or rewrite it again in English. This is where I am with the second novel, all others have been ditched at that stage.
This is not what most would call an efficient writing technique, but it's how I work.
Those of you who can actually write and do it properly with planning, a few flow charts and loads of research, congratulations and you will undoubtedly produce infinitely better stuff than I do. I do this for the fun of it so the fact I have produced a load of stuff in the past that was so bad I simply threw it out doesn’t bother me as much as maybe it should.
I would like to write something that would be worth publishing, and have others enjoy it, but until then my work will remain very exclusive, in other words too rubbish for public vewing.
Running 26-Feb-2013
Well didin't I do well yesterday.
Being Monday I forgot my stopwatch, again. Only upon arriving at work did I realise just how much of a muppet I had been though, running shoes, running socks all present, running shorts and top, at home in chest of drawers. This left me a couple of options if I wanted to run home, it would either be in my work clothes, desk jockey so not really going to happen, or my underwear.
Much as having to outrun the locals with torches and pitchforks would have improved my pace I decided running in public in my pants was not a good move and called in a lift. Really lazy, I know.
Today however I have done well, remembering to gring running kit is easier when running from home. The journey in was 37 minutes 36, so close to 7.6mph pleasingly quicker than of late. Obviously this could be totally destroyed by a slow run home but here's hoping for a decent time and overall 7.5
Run home 38:01 1 second off the 7.5mph pace. Annoying in a way but means I have deffinately got target average today.
Being Monday I forgot my stopwatch, again. Only upon arriving at work did I realise just how much of a muppet I had been though, running shoes, running socks all present, running shorts and top, at home in chest of drawers. This left me a couple of options if I wanted to run home, it would either be in my work clothes, desk jockey so not really going to happen, or my underwear.
Today however I have done well, remembering to gring running kit is easier when running from home. The journey in was 37 minutes 36, so close to 7.6mph pleasingly quicker than of late. Obviously this could be totally destroyed by a slow run home but here's hoping for a decent time and overall 7.5
Run home 38:01 1 second off the 7.5mph pace. Annoying in a way but means I have deffinately got target average today.
25 February 2013
Aren't you lucky?
One of my colleagues recently earned himself a brilliant new job. You know you sort, great salary and package, world of opportunity etc.
This reminded me how often such things are put down to luck, basically good fortune beyond our control.
I get the same with my fitness and a number of other things, told I am lucky to be the way I am, capable of the things I can do, have the things I have.
The thing I hate about the ‘Aren’t you lucky?’ question is people assume you simply landed like that or into this wonderful situation by sheer chance, without any effort or sacrifice.
Take my colleague. Why should someone, so much younger than me be able to get a job earning much more with more prestige and opportunity than I could hope for? Simple, because he has worked his rear off to get it and has a love of the work I would never match, and will never try to. It wasn't luck or chance that got him the role it was excellence earned over years of study and commitment I and others haven't bothered to give. I envy him of course but I made different choices and know I am where I have worked to be, so rather than being jealous of him I am happy to see him earn the fruits of his labours.
The irony is he tried training with me for a short while, though I think when he said he wanted intensity 10, he may not have realised where my version of 10 is. He wondered how I could do the things I did and often asked, I would tell him this was practice, there is of course no small measure of ignoring that little voice saying ‘this is stupid, stop it.’ In the same way as I envy his new job I think he envied my ability and would probably like the build this has made me. Also in the same way he understands that this has been the result of many years of commitment and work he’s been unwilling to put in, not some blind luck.
We both have something the other doesn’t and would like, but are smart enough to know that is because of the things we have prioritised in our lives, and the sheer volume of work we have put into our respective success.
There are cases of sheer luck, lottery winners etc. who get something amazing by sheer chance. Consider that many of them go bankrupt, and you see that even a sudden glut of money is not the happy ever after you might assume. There is a certain amount of right place, right time in the world; I met my wife because we were in the same place at the same time that was the only lucky part. Others have been there at the beginning of a company that has done well and been carried upward by sheer momentum, rather than having to work their way up the hard way, they are the extreme exception.
Another person I remember inherited a large stately home with immense grounds, straight out of a Georgian romance novel, and a mountain of debt to go with it. His family home had been bought with money his family hadn’t been earning for generations. The soft option could have been to sell up and live well on the leftovers having paid off his debts but he decided to take a risk. He mortgaged his family home to the hilt, buying up and renovating property in London then mortgaging them to the hilt as well until he was earning enough from rent to provide him an income.
A few years later there was a housing slump and many lost their homes. He came close to bankruptcy on a number of occasions but managed to make money enough to avoid this or beg bank managers to give him time.
By the time I met him there had been a major boom and another slump and gradual recovery that became another boom afterward. He had sold some of his properties to developers, still owned a number of whole streets in very affluent areas and had only transient debt that many businesses have. His family home was debt free as was a house he’d bought in southern France all of his cars in both countries and his truly luxurious life.
He wasn’t lucky, he made a difficult choice and saw it through. If he’d gone bankrupt it would have been a disaster for him. He had a first class education but no experience of working anywhere, so jobs would have been hard to find.
Even the pro-footballers earning millions for being glorified thugs on expensive playing fields aren’t there by luck. The miniscule percentage making that kind of money are only there after working at it from the time they are out of nappies in a world where millions are trying to do the same. For the record, I am not a football fan, watching overpaid thugs, ‘professionally’ fouling is not my idea of entertainment, but I am in the minority.
Many look at the end result and how well people are doing and declare them as lucky. In virtually all cases chance has played very little part, hard work, commitment and sacrifice have been the rungs on the ladder.
This reminded me how often such things are put down to luck, basically good fortune beyond our control.
I get the same with my fitness and a number of other things, told I am lucky to be the way I am, capable of the things I can do, have the things I have.
The thing I hate about the ‘Aren’t you lucky?’ question is people assume you simply landed like that or into this wonderful situation by sheer chance, without any effort or sacrifice.
Take my colleague. Why should someone, so much younger than me be able to get a job earning much more with more prestige and opportunity than I could hope for? Simple, because he has worked his rear off to get it and has a love of the work I would never match, and will never try to. It wasn't luck or chance that got him the role it was excellence earned over years of study and commitment I and others haven't bothered to give. I envy him of course but I made different choices and know I am where I have worked to be, so rather than being jealous of him I am happy to see him earn the fruits of his labours.
The irony is he tried training with me for a short while, though I think when he said he wanted intensity 10, he may not have realised where my version of 10 is. He wondered how I could do the things I did and often asked, I would tell him this was practice, there is of course no small measure of ignoring that little voice saying ‘this is stupid, stop it.’ In the same way as I envy his new job I think he envied my ability and would probably like the build this has made me. Also in the same way he understands that this has been the result of many years of commitment and work he’s been unwilling to put in, not some blind luck.
We both have something the other doesn’t and would like, but are smart enough to know that is because of the things we have prioritised in our lives, and the sheer volume of work we have put into our respective success.
There are cases of sheer luck, lottery winners etc. who get something amazing by sheer chance. Consider that many of them go bankrupt, and you see that even a sudden glut of money is not the happy ever after you might assume. There is a certain amount of right place, right time in the world; I met my wife because we were in the same place at the same time that was the only lucky part. Others have been there at the beginning of a company that has done well and been carried upward by sheer momentum, rather than having to work their way up the hard way, they are the extreme exception.
Another person I remember inherited a large stately home with immense grounds, straight out of a Georgian romance novel, and a mountain of debt to go with it. His family home had been bought with money his family hadn’t been earning for generations. The soft option could have been to sell up and live well on the leftovers having paid off his debts but he decided to take a risk. He mortgaged his family home to the hilt, buying up and renovating property in London then mortgaging them to the hilt as well until he was earning enough from rent to provide him an income.
A few years later there was a housing slump and many lost their homes. He came close to bankruptcy on a number of occasions but managed to make money enough to avoid this or beg bank managers to give him time.
By the time I met him there had been a major boom and another slump and gradual recovery that became another boom afterward. He had sold some of his properties to developers, still owned a number of whole streets in very affluent areas and had only transient debt that many businesses have. His family home was debt free as was a house he’d bought in southern France all of his cars in both countries and his truly luxurious life.
He wasn’t lucky, he made a difficult choice and saw it through. If he’d gone bankrupt it would have been a disaster for him. He had a first class education but no experience of working anywhere, so jobs would have been hard to find.
Even the pro-footballers earning millions for being glorified thugs on expensive playing fields aren’t there by luck. The miniscule percentage making that kind of money are only there after working at it from the time they are out of nappies in a world where millions are trying to do the same. For the record, I am not a football fan, watching overpaid thugs, ‘professionally’ fouling is not my idea of entertainment, but I am in the minority.
Many look at the end result and how well people are doing and declare them as lucky. In virtually all cases chance has played very little part, hard work, commitment and sacrifice have been the rungs on the ladder.
24 February 2013
Squats 24-Feb-2013
The observant will notice no deadlift session, life gets in the way, means tired for this one too coordination not great.
Squat session 10, 8, 6
Squats parrelel with knee wraps rack down 4 catchers down 6 142.5, 147.5, 155kg
Front Squats 87.5, 97.5, 105kg
Step forward lunges holding weights Not today
Parallel squat jumps 70, 80, 90kg
Squat session 10, 8, 6
Squats parrelel with knee wraps rack down 4 catchers down 6 142.5, 147.5, 155kg
Front Squats 87.5, 97.5, 105kg
Step forward lunges holding weights Not today
Parallel squat jumps 70, 80, 90kg
20 February 2013
Bench 20-Feb-2013
Bench press session 10, 8, 6
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 70, 75, 80kg
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest between first second set 24kg alternates for third set got all 6, 1 on right 2 on left needed leg assist
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 55, 60, 65kg
Dips on suspension trainer 7, 4, 4 rest of session went really well no energy left for dips, me happy.
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 70, 75, 80kg
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest between first second set 24kg alternates for third set got all 6, 1 on right 2 on left needed leg assist
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 55, 60, 65kg
Dips on suspension trainer 7, 4, 4 rest of session went really well no energy left for dips, me happy.
19 February 2013
Running 19-Feb-2013
Monday mornings are evidently forget my stopwatch mornings. So once again last nights run home was done in some minutes and unknown seconds.
This mornings run in 38 minutes 13 seconds so my best pace this time around at 7.45mph. I only need to hack another 13 seconds of this to get 7.5 mph target, then I can set my target back to 8mph again woohoo. If I get 8mph at virtually 13 stones in weight I shoudl be happy with myself, I won't be but that's just me.
This mornings run in 38 minutes 13 seconds so my best pace this time around at 7.45mph. I only need to hack another 13 seconds of this to get 7.5 mph target, then I can set my target back to 8mph again woohoo. If I get 8mph at virtually 13 stones in weight I shoudl be happy with myself, I won't be but that's just me.
17 February 2013
Squats 17-Feb-2013
Squat session 10, 8, 6
Squats parrelel with knee wraps rack down 4 catchers down 6 140, 145, 152.5kg 5.5 last set, 6 was down only
Front Squats 85, 90, 102.5kg
Step forward lunges holding weights 30kg a side 35 2sets of 5
Parallel squat jumps 70, 80, 90kg
Squats parrelel with knee wraps rack down 4 catchers down 6 140, 145, 152.5kg 5.5 last set, 6 was down only
Front Squats 85, 90, 102.5kg
Step forward lunges holding weights 30kg a side 35 2sets of 5
Parallel squat jumps 70, 80, 90kg
15 February 2013
Deadlift 15-Feb-2013
Deadlift session 10, 8, 6
Deadlift 142.5, 147.5, 155kg
Single arm deadlift using cable and kettle bell for handle 67, 77, 87kg 4reps last set
Stiff leg deadlift on bosu 90, 100,kg 3reps mind gone onto stuff to do session stopped. Meds time anyway.
Upright row cable still not done
Deadlift 142.5, 147.5, 155kg
Single arm deadlift using cable and kettle bell for handle 67, 77, 87kg 4reps last set
Stiff leg deadlift on bosu 90, 100,kg 3reps mind gone onto stuff to do session stopped. Meds time anyway.
Upright row cable still not done
12 February 2013
Bench 12-Feb-2013
Bench press session 10, 8, 6
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 67.5, 75, 80kg last set 4reps
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest between first second set 24kg for third set 2reps properly 2 with leg assist
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 52.5, 60, 65kg 3reps last set
Dips on suspension trainer 5, 6, 6
Increased weights all round final sets and exercise suffered, but accepting that, no choice really.
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 67.5, 75, 80kg last set 4reps
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest between first second set 24kg for third set 2reps properly 2 with leg assist
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 52.5, 60, 65kg 3reps last set
Dips on suspension trainer 5, 6, 6
Increased weights all round final sets and exercise suffered, but accepting that, no choice really.
Hardcore Training Lore
To be the best you have to live it. Training at optimum times, full intensity, with precision breaks, eating perfectly to macro level and never quit regardless of how you feel.
Nothing must come between you and perfection. It is every man's dream to look in the mirror and think three things, 'I look like God,' 'Why don't I have a girlfriend?' 'Why are my forearms uneven?'
Of course women can be just as sad, but the forearm joke doesn’t work as well on them.
Apologies to any looking for inspiration and serious workout guidance. This is not wholly serious.
I have spent time focussed solely on my training, achieved unparalleled results and been happy with my accomplishments. I generally didn't have girlfriends at these times, but my training was so tiring I would have been unable to please them or myself anyway, sorry, no funny forearms.
The description hardcore still gets applied to my training now, amusing to one who knows how hardcore truly feels and how far I am from it. People watching me do insane things in the gym or realising my warm up was running or cycling there considered this ultimate intensity, it isn't.
Training has stepped a few rungs down the priority ladder, below family and unfortunately work, I really want to retire. I struggle for time and energy as many do, but still stupidly use energy I should probably reserve for other things.
If you dedicate your life to training and recovery, eat perfectly every day and are committed (check the definition) to a level where nothing else matters, you will achieve the barely possible. You will also become one of the most boring people on the face of the planet to all except the similarly insane. When your friends, colleagues or partners if you're that lucky, glaze over, it's not lack of caring, you’re just dull.
In the gym people may care about your bench press breakdowns from 400kg and how your arms have grown half an inch to achieved perfect proportion with your calves and neck. Those outside it think you lift an amount they can't imagine and are so in love with your body you don't need a partner. So be dedicated by all means, also be aware of reality, and find equally sad friends.
I will envy you during my sessions, or sometimes at work, and would love to dedicate more time and effort to my training, but what I have traded it for is more than worth it.
Fitness fanatics are much maligned and the butt of many jokes, with just cause. We often do things with little or no real world application in the name of perceived beauty or personal ambition. I am of course no exception. I wanted to be a set weight and worked for years to achieve it. I then decided this additional muscle had to pay its way so went 'functional,' though I have never performed an overhead lift on an upside down dome outside the gym. I have noticed myself gaining weight and decided to see how big I can get and still run, there is no justification for this apart from obsession and need for new challenges.
Heavy drinkers boast about hangovers as an indicator of how much they drank the night before. Heavy trainers do the same about aching and most gyms have people stating how badly their butt aches from yesterday's squats, only here will a group of straight men will stare intently at each other’s buttocks without fear or ridicule. We never grow out of this, I still have days where I look as if I have been sodomised with a telegraph pole and strangely feel this is a good thing.
The most dedicated and committed have the following in common. They are all intimately aware of how insanely they are behaving, none of them care and they all love it. Most have a laugh about it, when it's two way.
If you are sad and fortunate enough to be a hardcore trainer, please boast here, if you are a has been like me, tell us why, and of course feel free to comment or insult this post or me as you always can.
Nothing must come between you and perfection. It is every man's dream to look in the mirror and think three things, 'I look like God,' 'Why don't I have a girlfriend?' 'Why are my forearms uneven?'
Of course women can be just as sad, but the forearm joke doesn’t work as well on them.
Apologies to any looking for inspiration and serious workout guidance. This is not wholly serious.
I have spent time focussed solely on my training, achieved unparalleled results and been happy with my accomplishments. I generally didn't have girlfriends at these times, but my training was so tiring I would have been unable to please them or myself anyway, sorry, no funny forearms.
Training has stepped a few rungs down the priority ladder, below family and unfortunately work, I really want to retire. I struggle for time and energy as many do, but still stupidly use energy I should probably reserve for other things.
In the gym people may care about your bench press breakdowns from 400kg and how your arms have grown half an inch to achieved perfect proportion with your calves and neck. Those outside it think you lift an amount they can't imagine and are so in love with your body you don't need a partner. So be dedicated by all means, also be aware of reality, and find equally sad friends.
I will envy you during my sessions, or sometimes at work, and would love to dedicate more time and effort to my training, but what I have traded it for is more than worth it.
The most dedicated and committed have the following in common. They are all intimately aware of how insanely they are behaving, none of them care and they all love it. Most have a laugh about it, when it's two way.
If you are sad and fortunate enough to be a hardcore trainer, please boast here, if you are a has been like me, tell us why, and of course feel free to comment or insult this post or me as you always can.
Running 12-Feb-2013
Last night 11th Feb
Setting up for a run on a route I don't usually do and wanting ot keep track of times.
Know the destination. Check
Route and distance found. Check
Stopwatch. Well 2 out of 3 might not be bad for some but that was totally useless for me. Disappointing as I think I did OK on last night’s 3 miler.
This morning I had to waste my time by trying to collect something from our national mail dis-service. In the US the term going postal means rampaging violence, in the UK it means look nice weather let’s have a strike, can't be bothered even pretending to work today.
The diversion added 2 miles to my run in making it 6.75 miles time was 54 minutes 25 giving me a pace of 7.44 mph, so at least that was better news.
Run home was 39:04 still 1:04 of 7.5mph time but I'll get there.
Total distance today 11.5 miles.
Setting up for a run on a route I don't usually do and wanting ot keep track of times.
Know the destination. Check
Route and distance found. Check
Stopwatch. Well 2 out of 3 might not be bad for some but that was totally useless for me. Disappointing as I think I did OK on last night’s 3 miler.
This morning I had to waste my time by trying to collect something from our national mail dis-service. In the US the term going postal means rampaging violence, in the UK it means look nice weather let’s have a strike, can't be bothered even pretending to work today.
The diversion added 2 miles to my run in making it 6.75 miles time was 54 minutes 25 giving me a pace of 7.44 mph, so at least that was better news.
Run home was 39:04 still 1:04 of 7.5mph time but I'll get there.
Total distance today 11.5 miles.
11 February 2013
Moderation, the way you should train
Those wondering why this is in Just for a laugh not something serious, please refer to the posts labelled training journal.
I have taught fitness as a job and helped many before and since that time. One of the most common key things has been moderation to stay safe and gain in a controlled sensible manner. This of course made me one of the biggest hypocrites on the planet, but it beat getting sued or loosing clients to the hospital.
Moderation is important for so many reasons and if you need help with your insomnia I strongly recommend reading up on them. For the rest of us who know that throwing caution to the wind and having stretchers on standby will enable us to sleep incredibly well life is entertaining, if not for us for everyone laughing at us.
Nutrition is an example of where moderation is exceptionally important. Balance is the key and there are food pyramids around to show the proportions we should be having. I haven't seen one of these with deep fried mars bars or 2kg bars of chocolate on them, but I have eaten both and not died. How can this be so? Deep fried mars bar was surprisingly nice and the bar of chocolate never even effected my appetite, I burn energy at an absurd rate and always have so I get away with throwing more junk into my body than I really should. However this said I do eat an outstanding amount of good stuff too.
Life is full of situations where we are supposed to be moderate and sensible. If you are every time you are heading for a serious disappointment in years to come. Sometimes it is worth risking ridicule, failure, even occasional injury to be outlandish and crazy. Trust me when you look back at your life it's not the days where you were sensible and plain that will be memorable, it's the times when you went all out doing something different even if you failed hilariously.
I have taken part in many runs but the one I remember most vividly was with me dressed loosely as a pirate, carrying my son who decided to spur me on with his plastic sword, not because it was most recent, just most bizarre. That was a success, many were shocked at how well we did, my father was disappointed at my son being placed below me in finish order, my son enjoyed the attention and thought jabbing me was hilarious.
Other things I have done were less successful but just as memorable including demonstrating my balance and poise by swinging my leg out over the pads after a set of leg curls and falling on my rear. Or my attention to detail as I put the wheels on my push bike, rode around a bend to see the front wheel go a few yards in the original direction then fall while me and the rest of my bike started going around the corner and fell over, guess who always checks the wheels now?
I have enjoyed my life and continue to do so by accepting some moderation for necessity and plenty of excess and stupidity for fun. Most importantly when it goes wrong, it often does, I accept it was my own stupid fault and try to figure out how to do better next time, or if there shouldn't be one.
In case you were wondering I am not saying moderation in training is a bad thing, but that it has to be personal choice. The level of risk and stupidity in my training has been reached over many years of ignoring that little voice warning you not to do that. The little voice is what keeps you safe and alive, ignoring it has caused me injuries, a few close calls with the reaper and some of the most incredible highs. Do not imitate unless you are truly sure and willing to take those risks, I am not wise, just someone who survived and refuses to accept pain as the warning it should be.
I have taught fitness as a job and helped many before and since that time. One of the most common key things has been moderation to stay safe and gain in a controlled sensible manner. This of course made me one of the biggest hypocrites on the planet, but it beat getting sued or loosing clients to the hospital.
Moderation is important for so many reasons and if you need help with your insomnia I strongly recommend reading up on them. For the rest of us who know that throwing caution to the wind and having stretchers on standby will enable us to sleep incredibly well life is entertaining, if not for us for everyone laughing at us.
Nutrition is an example of where moderation is exceptionally important. Balance is the key and there are food pyramids around to show the proportions we should be having. I haven't seen one of these with deep fried mars bars or 2kg bars of chocolate on them, but I have eaten both and not died. How can this be so? Deep fried mars bar was surprisingly nice and the bar of chocolate never even effected my appetite, I burn energy at an absurd rate and always have so I get away with throwing more junk into my body than I really should. However this said I do eat an outstanding amount of good stuff too.
Life is full of situations where we are supposed to be moderate and sensible. If you are every time you are heading for a serious disappointment in years to come. Sometimes it is worth risking ridicule, failure, even occasional injury to be outlandish and crazy. Trust me when you look back at your life it's not the days where you were sensible and plain that will be memorable, it's the times when you went all out doing something different even if you failed hilariously.
Other things I have done were less successful but just as memorable including demonstrating my balance and poise by swinging my leg out over the pads after a set of leg curls and falling on my rear. Or my attention to detail as I put the wheels on my push bike, rode around a bend to see the front wheel go a few yards in the original direction then fall while me and the rest of my bike started going around the corner and fell over, guess who always checks the wheels now?
I have enjoyed my life and continue to do so by accepting some moderation for necessity and plenty of excess and stupidity for fun. Most importantly when it goes wrong, it often does, I accept it was my own stupid fault and try to figure out how to do better next time, or if there shouldn't be one.
In case you were wondering I am not saying moderation in training is a bad thing, but that it has to be personal choice. The level of risk and stupidity in my training has been reached over many years of ignoring that little voice warning you not to do that. The little voice is what keeps you safe and alive, ignoring it has caused me injuries, a few close calls with the reaper and some of the most incredible highs. Do not imitate unless you are truly sure and willing to take those risks, I am not wise, just someone who survived and refuses to accept pain as the warning it should be.
Why do I train?
I gave details why my wife and I decided to home educate. Many consider my training a more unusual choice.
I’m middle aged man who works more than full time hours, has a family, and an unpopular list of overdue DIY projects. I don't compete or need to achieve anything for work or measurable gain. Why waste valuable time and energy on training instead of more important things?
First and foremost, I love it. The feeling I get from my training and the abilities it gives me is amazing. I state this is my main selfish pleasure and I am not kidding, the main reason I train is pure unadulterated pleasure.
Chip on my shoulder. I was the weedy nerd at school who sat at the front and had all the answers. Being small, weak, slow and uncoordinated made me useless at PE. Teachers telling me I couldn't be good at everything, along with others, made me feel I would never be fit. As an adult I have gained a real attitude about my abilities, partly due to this mistreatment.
Because I can. Much of my training has no use in the real world, but I like doing things others can't or don't think I can. I look too weedy to lift what I do and too bulky to run well. I like being underestimated and there is a strange pleasure attached in doing things of no real use which make people wonder how I do them, and undoubtedly why.
Enjoyment of life. Many wish they could still run up stairs, or touch their toes etc. as they could in their younger days. I intend to enjoy my life until I die, which will require physical ability. Wheezy at the bar who struggles getting onto a stool, walking to the car etc. will tell you how great their life of drinking and smoking is. I feel my life is more enriched by the endorphins derived from various forms of physical activity, those thinking fitness fanatics don't enjoy all of them, get real.
Role model. I’m a father and my son thinks I am insane, smart lad. He also has a role model for whom being fit is an integral part of life, who can state the benefits of this from experience, not just pamphlets. He does some training himself, obviously tamed down to very safe child levels, and enjoys being able to easily do things that should be difficult for him. This may have gone a bit far, one of his aims in life is to be really big, not sure how though as he thinks just lifting weights is weird, will be interesting.
Healthy body healthy mind. We’re not talking sanity, I never declare what I do as moderate or sensible enough to be sane. There is proof however that looking after your body helps to maintain brain function. Nutrient flow and heart health are among other key benefits for your nervous system. So us muscle heads are more likely to keep the intelligence and mental ability we have than others, of course it doesn't mean we had more to start with.
Being a tight wad. There are no cheaper, efficient ways of commuting than cycling and running. Training at home is far cheaper than a few weekly bottles of wine. The money saved doing this is spent doing things as a family and I get more pleasure here too, all round winner.
We all make our individual choices about exercise. Mine was excess, outside influences introduced limits but I push as much as I can.
I train to failure, and have hated every one, which pushes me to do more. I read an article recently declaring this cannot be maintained as you can't keep pushing harder and failing, what a load of trash. I often start a set and have to stop early, or fail to move the bar, hence the often useful safety rack. This has become part of my life, and though I hate the occasions when the second half of a squat doesn’t happen, I appreciate how much it takes for me to fail now. Sometimes the failure is only the last few not being as deep or steady as they should have been, it's still failure.
If you do enjoy your training and get grief for being a fitness fanatic, be proud. Those giving grief will be glad they aren't you when young with no effects from sedentary life, drinking etc. but in a few years you will laugh back, and have the fitness to laugh longer than they can without keeling over.
As always comments, insults or personal accounts are welcome.
I’m middle aged man who works more than full time hours, has a family, and an unpopular list of overdue DIY projects. I don't compete or need to achieve anything for work or measurable gain. Why waste valuable time and energy on training instead of more important things?
First and foremost, I love it. The feeling I get from my training and the abilities it gives me is amazing. I state this is my main selfish pleasure and I am not kidding, the main reason I train is pure unadulterated pleasure.
Because I can. Much of my training has no use in the real world, but I like doing things others can't or don't think I can. I look too weedy to lift what I do and too bulky to run well. I like being underestimated and there is a strange pleasure attached in doing things of no real use which make people wonder how I do them, and undoubtedly why.
Role model. I’m a father and my son thinks I am insane, smart lad. He also has a role model for whom being fit is an integral part of life, who can state the benefits of this from experience, not just pamphlets. He does some training himself, obviously tamed down to very safe child levels, and enjoys being able to easily do things that should be difficult for him. This may have gone a bit far, one of his aims in life is to be really big, not sure how though as he thinks just lifting weights is weird, will be interesting.
Healthy body healthy mind. We’re not talking sanity, I never declare what I do as moderate or sensible enough to be sane. There is proof however that looking after your body helps to maintain brain function. Nutrient flow and heart health are among other key benefits for your nervous system. So us muscle heads are more likely to keep the intelligence and mental ability we have than others, of course it doesn't mean we had more to start with.
Being a tight wad. There are no cheaper, efficient ways of commuting than cycling and running. Training at home is far cheaper than a few weekly bottles of wine. The money saved doing this is spent doing things as a family and I get more pleasure here too, all round winner.
We all make our individual choices about exercise. Mine was excess, outside influences introduced limits but I push as much as I can.
I train to failure, and have hated every one, which pushes me to do more. I read an article recently declaring this cannot be maintained as you can't keep pushing harder and failing, what a load of trash. I often start a set and have to stop early, or fail to move the bar, hence the often useful safety rack. This has become part of my life, and though I hate the occasions when the second half of a squat doesn’t happen, I appreciate how much it takes for me to fail now. Sometimes the failure is only the last few not being as deep or steady as they should have been, it's still failure.
If you do enjoy your training and get grief for being a fitness fanatic, be proud. Those giving grief will be glad they aren't you when young with no effects from sedentary life, drinking etc. but in a few years you will laugh back, and have the fitness to laugh longer than they can without keeling over.
As always comments, insults or personal accounts are welcome.
10 February 2013
Squats 10-Feb-2013
Squat session 10, 8, 6
Squats parrelel with knee wraps rack down 4 catchers down 6 140, 145, 150kg ow!
Front Squats 90, 90, 100kg first set only 8
Step forward lunges holding weights 25, 27.5, 30kg a side
Parallel squat jumps 60, 70, 80kg
Squats parrelel with knee wraps rack down 4 catchers down 6 140, 145, 150kg ow!
Front Squats 90, 90, 100kg first set only 8
Step forward lunges holding weights 25, 27.5, 30kg a side
Parallel squat jumps 60, 70, 80kg
8 February 2013
The morning after
For those who hadn't noiced I have tried to keep up the intensity of training to some degree by having the set of 6 being the same as the previous sets of 5.
I would say this is working. I am not immobile as with the 555s but today I am aching in a few places I had forgotten I had places.
Unstable training is for unstable minds and shouldn't be attempted without consulting your physciatrist. It does however hit muscles that moresensible sane training methods miss. I would swear there are back muscles below my ribcage complaining, even though I know this is unlikely the aches seem to go that deep.
Same again next week then.
I would say this is working. I am not immobile as with the 555s but today I am aching in a few places I had forgotten I had places.
Unstable training is for unstable minds and shouldn't be attempted without consulting your physciatrist. It does however hit muscles that more
Same again next week then.
7 February 2013
Deadlift 07-Feb-2013
Deadlift session 10, 8, 6
Deadlift 140, 145, 150kg, want to go a bit heavier next time.
Single arm deadlift using cable and kettle bell for handle 42, 57, 82kg really messed up the early weights 10 reps first 2 sets
Stiff leg deadlift on bosu 90 x6, 90, 100kg
Upright row cable next time. Faffing so much ran out of time.
Deadlift 140, 145, 150kg, want to go a bit heavier next time.
Single arm deadlift using cable and kettle bell for handle 42, 57, 82kg really messed up the early weights 10 reps first 2 sets
Stiff leg deadlift on bosu 90 x6, 90, 100kg
Upright row cable next time. Faffing so much ran out of time.
Getting older
The aim of every child the dismay of many adults. While physicists debate the existence of time as a concept we still get older none the less.
There is no age immune to the pain of aging. I remember really loving my first pushbike and being incredibly upset at the idea of having to let it go on the grounds that I was too big for it. As far as I was concerned there was nothing faster in the world, I may have been around 6 or 7 at the time and despite wanting to be older I had my first memorable taste of painful aging.
Truth is I don't actually mind getting older, things are more difficult I simply work harder at them and I am fit so the middle aged spread seems to be happening in areas that are no big deal. None the less 40 is looming incredibly near and there are some things that I would rather not happen but I cannot escape.
The hair issue. Going grey, couldn't care less, going bald, hmm! I used to have long hair, useful for headbanging and appealing to my wife. The day came when I looked and thought this is going to start looking really stupid and it was cut short, something I wasn't happy about. There are different ways you can go bald, receding from the front, bald spot expansion or various combinations of the two. Mine is a combination, two sides receding back and a growing spot halfway back my head, working to leave a small island of hair at the centre front. There are no graceful ways to go bald but this one is very annoying and starting to look really ridiculous. I think I would rather it just disappear and get on with it.
The added joy is I know there are a number of scars under that hair which will become exposed and I don't know that I fancy that much. One colleague said I could get a toupee as what I assumed was a joke. As I pointed out, with my attention to detail regarding personal grooming, I would likely end up wearing it backwards.
In conclusion the balding is not great.
Expectations. As you get to certain ages there are expectations on you. I am a staid old man in that I am happy with my family and various things in my life, but most this way are apparently supposed to look podgy and wear cardigans. Being fit somehow makes people think it's midlife crisis time. I did enough really stupid, irresponsible things when younger not to need any more in my life. This means I confuse many by being happy despite approaching a milestone others seem to dread.
One thing I love about getting older. Less people putting my physical ability down to being young. I train hard and enjoy it, that is why I have done well. It is also funny to watch others sometimes not much more than half my age declaring they wouldn't be able to do any of the various things I take for granted doing every week.
I am interested in any accounts of what you may think about getting older, good bad indifferent, the more humorous the better. Age no issue.
There is no age immune to the pain of aging. I remember really loving my first pushbike and being incredibly upset at the idea of having to let it go on the grounds that I was too big for it. As far as I was concerned there was nothing faster in the world, I may have been around 6 or 7 at the time and despite wanting to be older I had my first memorable taste of painful aging.
Truth is I don't actually mind getting older, things are more difficult I simply work harder at them and I am fit so the middle aged spread seems to be happening in areas that are no big deal. None the less 40 is looming incredibly near and there are some things that I would rather not happen but I cannot escape.
The hair issue. Going grey, couldn't care less, going bald, hmm! I used to have long hair, useful for headbanging and appealing to my wife. The day came when I looked and thought this is going to start looking really stupid and it was cut short, something I wasn't happy about. There are different ways you can go bald, receding from the front, bald spot expansion or various combinations of the two. Mine is a combination, two sides receding back and a growing spot halfway back my head, working to leave a small island of hair at the centre front. There are no graceful ways to go bald but this one is very annoying and starting to look really ridiculous. I think I would rather it just disappear and get on with it.
The added joy is I know there are a number of scars under that hair which will become exposed and I don't know that I fancy that much. One colleague said I could get a toupee as what I assumed was a joke. As I pointed out, with my attention to detail regarding personal grooming, I would likely end up wearing it backwards.
In conclusion the balding is not great.
Expectations. As you get to certain ages there are expectations on you. I am a staid old man in that I am happy with my family and various things in my life, but most this way are apparently supposed to look podgy and wear cardigans. Being fit somehow makes people think it's midlife crisis time. I did enough really stupid, irresponsible things when younger not to need any more in my life. This means I confuse many by being happy despite approaching a milestone others seem to dread.
One thing I love about getting older. Less people putting my physical ability down to being young. I train hard and enjoy it, that is why I have done well. It is also funny to watch others sometimes not much more than half my age declaring they wouldn't be able to do any of the various things I take for granted doing every week.
I am interested in any accounts of what you may think about getting older, good bad indifferent, the more humorous the better. Age no issue.
6 February 2013
Bench 06-Feb-2013
Bench press session 10, 8, 6
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 65, 72.5, 77.5kg (may try 80 next time)
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest to increase intensity, not ready for 24s yet
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 50, 62.5kg set of 5 then 6 (I put 5s on instead of 2.5s for 2nd set, should have been 57.5 oops!)
Dips on suspension trainer 8, 6, 5
Bench press with pause Rack up 4 holder up+3 65, 72.5, 77.5kg (may try 80 next time)
Kettle clean and press 20kg, short rest to increase intensity, not ready for 24s yet
Incline press 45 degree rack up 8 start at bottom of press 50, 62.5kg set of 5 then 6 (I put 5s on instead of 2.5s for 2nd set, should have been 57.5 oops!)
Dips on suspension trainer 8, 6, 5
Run home 05-Feb-2013
Well yesterday I was not happy with my run in being 38 minutes 42. Part of that was because I know that my run in is normally a bit quicker than my run home.
Today I am thoroughly disappointed to find that my run home was 40 minutes 30, just over 7mph, and I mean just.
I could try excuses about not running last week, momentary delays en route etc. but they would be just that. Truth is I have allowed myself to become slower by not running consistantly enough. There are 3 commute runs a week 2 are homeward and I need to improve them.
I didn't train last night as was busy sorting other things out but will be doing bench this evening.
Commute today was on bike and there really is no point timing that, it is affected by to many things. Will keep depressing myself with the running for now.
Today I am thoroughly disappointed to find that my run home was 40 minutes 30, just over 7mph, and I mean just.
I could try excuses about not running last week, momentary delays en route etc. but they would be just that. Truth is I have allowed myself to become slower by not running consistantly enough. There are 3 commute runs a week 2 are homeward and I need to improve them.
I didn't train last night as was busy sorting other things out but will be doing bench this evening.
Commute today was on bike and there really is no point timing that, it is affected by to many things. Will keep depressing myself with the running for now.
5 February 2013
The cost of weight (running)
Since last March I have been doing something my body hasn't done in several years, gaining weight.
I have been 12 stones, 168lb, 76.2kg for almost 2 decades within few pounds. In March I was exactly this with 15.something% body fat
In late August I weighed in and was 12 stone 8, 176lb, 79.8kg expecting this to be due to bad diet from a long term house guest we were helping out.
Beginning of the year I weighed in again and was 12 stone 12, 180lb, 81.6kg, which I assumed to be due to excess over the holiday season. The weekend just passed I decided to find out my body fat and found I was 12 stone 13, 181lb, 82.1kg at 16.8% body fat.
As you can tell I don't weigh in often, and the weight is not excess I had expected but predominantly lean mass. This was a serious shock, to an ectomorph used to working incredibly hard to gain a tiny amount of weight especially when my commute is run or cycle.
Weights have been higher than for a while so this shouldn't have been as shocking but I'm not always as smart as I like to think.
Another thing I rarely do is time my commutes because there are too many variables, with traffic etc. So I assumed my normal 8mph with occasional increases toward 8.5 were being maintained. I decided to find out how I am doing so strapped on the stopwatch and tried a few different route maps for accurate distance.
Stopwatch no problem, nice accurate 38 minutes 42 seconds.
Distance, less simple, sites gave readings between 4.6 and 5 miles. The most likely said 4.75 which is around average, so will do. I don't have fancy GPS.
This makes my pace 7.36mph, aka annoyingly slow. I will give myself some slack due to snow and ice as long as it picks up to over 7.5mph over the next month. Slowing a bit due to additional bulk is inevitable but there is a limit to what I will accept.
I will be logging the 3 trips a week I run, which matched to the change to 10, 8, 6 in the gym could spell disappointment for me on running pace. See how I go.
In late August I weighed in and was 12 stone 8, 176lb, 79.8kg expecting this to be due to bad diet from a long term house guest we were helping out.
Beginning of the year I weighed in again and was 12 stone 12, 180lb, 81.6kg, which I assumed to be due to excess over the holiday season. The weekend just passed I decided to find out my body fat and found I was 12 stone 13, 181lb, 82.1kg at 16.8% body fat.
As you can tell I don't weigh in often, and the weight is not excess I had expected but predominantly lean mass. This was a serious shock, to an ectomorph used to working incredibly hard to gain a tiny amount of weight especially when my commute is run or cycle.
Weights have been higher than for a while so this shouldn't have been as shocking but I'm not always as smart as I like to think.
Another thing I rarely do is time my commutes because there are too many variables, with traffic etc. So I assumed my normal 8mph with occasional increases toward 8.5 were being maintained. I decided to find out how I am doing so strapped on the stopwatch and tried a few different route maps for accurate distance.
Distance, less simple, sites gave readings between 4.6 and 5 miles. The most likely said 4.75 which is around average, so will do. I don't have fancy GPS.
This makes my pace 7.36mph, aka annoyingly slow. I will give myself some slack due to snow and ice as long as it picks up to over 7.5mph over the next month. Slowing a bit due to additional bulk is inevitable but there is a limit to what I will accept.
I will be logging the 3 trips a week I run, which matched to the change to 10, 8, 6 in the gym could spell disappointment for me on running pace. See how I go.
4 February 2013
What went wrong 555s
I decided to go for 555s which involved trying to squeeze 2.5 to 3 hours of training into an hour and it didn't work. Anyone reading this who is shocked, there is a job in politics waiting for someone with your intelligence and sense of realism.
I expected this to be hard and was prepared for some adjustments which were made in week 1, changing 2 sessions to 455s dropping a whole exercise in each.
In truth I was pleasantly surprised at how well this went for the first 2 weeks, and naively thought I could do this for the full 8 weeks I expect to keep routines for. I was wrong.
I recover well, and punish my body for letting me get away with treating it as I do, but this time I went too far. I didn't ever stop aching, which is normal, but this was immobilising for a lot of the time, not ideal when running and cycling to work especially with some of that being in snow and ice.
This meant I never fully recovered in time for what are extremely tough workouts when you have time, let alone when short resting. As the weeks wore on I became more fatigued, less able and in the end pushed myself so far I turned what might have been a very minor seizure with short recovery into something drawn out and incapacitating. Basically I was dangerously stupid.
What have I learned?
On a positive note, I found that if I had the time and recovery this would have been a great session and even with the damage I did some of my best lifting in a while. So while this is no good for me now it's still one for the future.
I really have to temper my stupidity a bit. I will never take training easy and will make similar mistakes in the future, but I have to at least acknowledge the existence of the real world and the need to work for a living and other things outside of training.
I expected this to be hard and was prepared for some adjustments which were made in week 1, changing 2 sessions to 455s dropping a whole exercise in each.
In truth I was pleasantly surprised at how well this went for the first 2 weeks, and naively thought I could do this for the full 8 weeks I expect to keep routines for. I was wrong.
This meant I never fully recovered in time for what are extremely tough workouts when you have time, let alone when short resting. As the weeks wore on I became more fatigued, less able and in the end pushed myself so far I turned what might have been a very minor seizure with short recovery into something drawn out and incapacitating. Basically I was dangerously stupid.
What have I learned?
On a positive note, I found that if I had the time and recovery this would have been a great session and even with the damage I did some of my best lifting in a while. So while this is no good for me now it's still one for the future.
I really have to temper my stupidity a bit. I will never take training easy and will make similar mistakes in the future, but I have to at least acknowledge the existence of the real world and the need to work for a living and other things outside of training.
Greener grass
Some great examples can be seen in the gym. Scrawny sticks like me when trying to gain mass will look at the endomorph enviously. In return the guy who looks at a dumbbell and gains a stone of muscle will be used to looking at cakes and gaining a stone of flab so will be envious of Mr Ectomorph’s permanent 6 pack and lean physique.
The added joy of people with no desire to exercise except to shovel food or pour beer into their mouths, criticise fit folk for being sad and boring, guilty as charged, then wish they didn't have to stop Greenpeace dragging them out to sea when on the beach and want the fit look without the effort. One of the funniest statistics from a few years ago was the bestselling 'exercise equipment' was the delightful electronic muscle stimulators, if you want something funnier, watch somebody using one.
Bikers and car drivers are the same. I’ve always loved bikes, but there are times when it's nice to be in a car with cruise control and stereo chatting to family and friends in luxury. The joy of this disappears when in a jam watching bikes zip past as I do during rush hour.
The cool/ geek or nerd comparison, which has become blurred as geeks are becoming cool. Bill Gates spoke at a school and said ‘Be nice to nerds, chances are you will be working for one.’ At school being brainless with sheep like fashion sense is cool, and nerdy kids wish they could be like them. In the real world this gets you very little and the cool kids soon end up wishing they'd paid more attention in class so they could be earning the nerd wages, especially when they realise drinking several beers every weekend from age 15 has left them looking less cool. Of course there are nerdy kids who don't do as well as they hoped and they often feel life has been very unfair to them.
There is the married single jealousy. Many single wish they had someone and married wish for their single freedom. I remember telling a colleague years ago that those having affairs etc. generally had less than successful single history. He was confused by this and told me that he wouldn't consider an affair but was with the woman from his first relationship. I asked him what he'd wanted when single and he smiled as he replied 'To be married with a family.' realising he'd had a very successful single life, getting exactly what he wanted. The people we were working with who had been caught out, were declaring how bad life had been to them, sympathy not forthcoming.
I have been the shortest in sports where height is a benefit, and tallest in a power-lifting event where this is a major handicap. However if you want to be easily underestimated being average height is great.
There is the young and old debate. Age is considered the process where broadness of mind and narrowness of waist change places. I listened to a lot of older people in my youth, some younger than I am now, and realised the wisdom in doing the crazy stuff young and getting it out of my system. Doing so helped me, but if you aren't crazy in the first place, that is probably better.
If you are young envying the old, try to remember that you will likely get there, and be happier if you didn’t rush the journey. My guidance, live like there is no tomorrow, but be aware there probably will be.
When you do something stupid or reckless and it goes wrong as it often does, it was your fault, no-one else’s, deal with it. I have damaged myself doing stupid things and been encouraged to do many of them, each will have felt like a good or at least acceptable idea at the time. Finding out it wasn’t doesn't make it the fault of others, I was still the muppet doing it.
If you travel and really get involved in the places you are in, you will notice people think of your home as wonderful, and wish for things you have. Appreciate what you have, and if you want more work for it. This may not be job related it could be making your relationship with someone stronger, giving up cigarettes or another addiction you hate or so many things. Try to remember that much of your success or failure will be in your control, and what isn't can often be fudged or ignored, with varying success or hilarious failures. If it all goes wrong, you will have tried and the chances are found some great people on the same journey.
As with any of these posts have fun pulling it apart, disagreeing or adding to it.
The idea is to have a bit of a laugh at some often serious stuff, which is easier said than done at times.
Squats 03 Feb 2013
Seizure or not that shows I have been pushing it too far beyond my limits.
I will be keeping the same exercises as before but the style of session will be changing from 5x5 to 10, 8, 6.
Might try 555s when I have retired or at least have more recovery time.
1 February 2013
If at first you do succeed...
try not to look astonished.
Sometimes our failures can be hilarious. However being caught unaware by instant success can be just as funny and not being prepared for it can be embarrassing.
This can be something minor like putting up a shelf and finding it is level even though you didn't check through to adding 17 weird numbers together in your head faster than the calculator can be typed on. The task is often not as entertaining as the shocked reaction when you realise, any thoughts from those around assuming you are a genius disappear as soon as you declare 'Really?' or similar when told you are right.
In training I have often underestimated what I will be able to do then been astonished. Unfortunately the only time you realise that you are standing in slack-jawed disbelief is when you see how ridiculous you look in the mirror or there are people laughing at you.
Sometimes you will make plans that seem logical and doomed to failure at the same time. Often you will abandon the idea in favour of something sane and realistic, but sometimes you will go with it. The mix of pride and confusion when all goes well it un-matched at any other time.
Most of us will have been in the situation where we are asking someone for a dance etc. and expecting to have pitched beyond our reach. In this instance we are often prepared for the inevitable rebuttal, and can be left looking a prize prat when accepted and unsure what to do next. Even more so if the person you have been thinking about asks you for a dance and you somehow forget how to give the simple response 'yes.'
Working life is another time when you often try everything that should work and fail then turn to the ridiculous in despair to find success. The fun part is always explaining this to your boss.
'Well sir we tried all the stuff in the book but in the end it was connecting the curling tongs, 3 lemons and a piece of 2x4 that got the machine to go.'
'You're a software engineer, which explains the curling tongs and lemons but what the heck were you doing with a piece of 2x4? And how exactly did you manage to boot the machine during a power-cut?'
Bribery with children is great but there are limits many of which are based on age and experience. The first time you use 'You need to tidy your room before your friends come over.' it may work and you will be shocked. Don't worry it won't last before long they will come back with 'But we'll be making a mess anyway so it doesn't matter.'
So many things surprise us as parents and trying not to look astonished here is of optimum importance. If your child catches you out they know you weren't expecting the good behaviour and that is dangerous. My son is honest and has often confirmed noticing this and that I didn't expect the result. I maintain this by being honest back and expressing pride in him for being so good.
Sometimes our failures can be hilarious. However being caught unaware by instant success can be just as funny and not being prepared for it can be embarrassing.
This can be something minor like putting up a shelf and finding it is level even though you didn't check through to adding 17 weird numbers together in your head faster than the calculator can be typed on. The task is often not as entertaining as the shocked reaction when you realise, any thoughts from those around assuming you are a genius disappear as soon as you declare 'Really?' or similar when told you are right.
In training I have often underestimated what I will be able to do then been astonished. Unfortunately the only time you realise that you are standing in slack-jawed disbelief is when you see how ridiculous you look in the mirror or there are people laughing at you.
Sometimes you will make plans that seem logical and doomed to failure at the same time. Often you will abandon the idea in favour of something sane and realistic, but sometimes you will go with it. The mix of pride and confusion when all goes well it un-matched at any other time.
Most of us will have been in the situation where we are asking someone for a dance etc. and expecting to have pitched beyond our reach. In this instance we are often prepared for the inevitable rebuttal, and can be left looking a prize prat when accepted and unsure what to do next. Even more so if the person you have been thinking about asks you for a dance and you somehow forget how to give the simple response 'yes.'
Working life is another time when you often try everything that should work and fail then turn to the ridiculous in despair to find success. The fun part is always explaining this to your boss.
'Well sir we tried all the stuff in the book but in the end it was connecting the curling tongs, 3 lemons and a piece of 2x4 that got the machine to go.'
'You're a software engineer, which explains the curling tongs and lemons but what the heck were you doing with a piece of 2x4? And how exactly did you manage to boot the machine during a power-cut?'
Bribery with children is great but there are limits many of which are based on age and experience. The first time you use 'You need to tidy your room before your friends come over.' it may work and you will be shocked. Don't worry it won't last before long they will come back with 'But we'll be making a mess anyway so it doesn't matter.'
So many things surprise us as parents and trying not to look astonished here is of optimum importance. If your child catches you out they know you weren't expecting the good behaviour and that is dangerous. My son is honest and has often confirmed noticing this and that I didn't expect the result. I maintain this by being honest back and expressing pride in him for being so good.
The heaviest metal never rusts
OK the title of the blog pertains to my enjoying heavy metal and I guess it's time to make the confession absolute. I am a true headbanger, and as stated in the book How to be a complete wally, not all wallys are headbangers but all headbangers are wallys.
There is something deeply strange about anyone enjoying music that inspires you shake your brains into submission for several hours or slam into each other grinning inanely. This guy forgot to stop headbanging long enough to eat.
Metalheads are also quite a strange crew as well, either pushed out to the borders of society or going there voluntarily to escape the mainstream. The music is generally powerful and aggressive even if the lyrics are about peace and love, which confuses the heck out of anyone from outside the metal fraternity if they listen hard enough to realise.
There is a sense of humour that goes with metal too that most don't get. It's insulting to everyone and everything especially metalheads themselves, who we stereotype as sub intelligent tattooed apes wearing clothes held together by frayed edges and various piercings.
Some examples.
Why are people more offended by fur than leather? Because it's easier to pick on rich old women than motorbike gangs.
An old friend of mine told me the thing liked most about metal was the women looked like women, unfortunately so do the blokes. After some time he also shared this insight with one hairy beomoth who terrified him at first, and found him laughing along.
In contrast another friend of mine coming to the club for the first time was very excited to see 2 women being intimate on the dancefloor. Not so much however when the one with legs and butt he fancied turned out to have a goatee beard and was stable enough with his sexuality to be out in a black minidress without caring.
I am too old for the long hair anymore, going bald and even as a metal head with virtually no style I have enough to avoid the long hair at sides and back with none on top. Dress sense is not difficult in the true metal world, keep clothes forever and keep wearing them, if bits fall of your clothes you can patch them but this is optional. If you really care about how you look in the t-shirt you were wearing in school that only fits because of the rips, you don't qualify.
I like my music how I like my training, hard and heavy. Like most metalheads I love classical music if it shares the same power and passion, a quick you tube search will show you many heavy metal versions of classical music and many of the best performers practice with classical pieces to gain the skills they need to keep up with demands of metal.
Yes a lot of it is loud, obnoxious noise, and not good for background music. There is a good reason for this, metalheads do not want music to be background noise, they want to be affected and inspired by it.
There are such a variety of metal tracks covering true love, hatred of war, sex, and of course humour, which is often offensive. There are many who think metal is about encouraging violence, which would of course explain Metallica's One among many others, or satanic like Rob Zombie's Living dead girl. These will always be people who have never listened to the words and realised that living dead girl and most others like it are intended as a mick take, unfortunately some of those who do listen to a few of them haven't reached the punch line yet either.
I find training is better to heavier tunes too, the aggression in the music helps me unlock my own and lift more than I would without it. I use similar music when running or cycling and have had to learn not to mime along with all of the words, especially Faith No More gentle art of making enemies and the like, people can get offended when lip-reading, not good.
Metalheads are also quite a strange crew as well, either pushed out to the borders of society or going there voluntarily to escape the mainstream. The music is generally powerful and aggressive even if the lyrics are about peace and love, which confuses the heck out of anyone from outside the metal fraternity if they listen hard enough to realise.
There is a sense of humour that goes with metal too that most don't get. It's insulting to everyone and everything especially metalheads themselves, who we stereotype as sub intelligent tattooed apes wearing clothes held together by frayed edges and various piercings.
Some examples.
Why are people more offended by fur than leather? Because it's easier to pick on rich old women than motorbike gangs.
An old friend of mine told me the thing liked most about metal was the women looked like women, unfortunately so do the blokes. After some time he also shared this insight with one hairy beomoth who terrified him at first, and found him laughing along.
In contrast another friend of mine coming to the club for the first time was very excited to see 2 women being intimate on the dancefloor. Not so much however when the one with legs and butt he fancied turned out to have a goatee beard and was stable enough with his sexuality to be out in a black minidress without caring.
I like my music how I like my training, hard and heavy. Like most metalheads I love classical music if it shares the same power and passion, a quick you tube search will show you many heavy metal versions of classical music and many of the best performers practice with classical pieces to gain the skills they need to keep up with demands of metal.
Yes a lot of it is loud, obnoxious noise, and not good for background music. There is a good reason for this, metalheads do not want music to be background noise, they want to be affected and inspired by it.
There are such a variety of metal tracks covering true love, hatred of war, sex, and of course humour, which is often offensive. There are many who think metal is about encouraging violence, which would of course explain Metallica's One among many others, or satanic like Rob Zombie's Living dead girl. These will always be people who have never listened to the words and realised that living dead girl and most others like it are intended as a mick take, unfortunately some of those who do listen to a few of them haven't reached the punch line yet either.
I find training is better to heavier tunes too, the aggression in the music helps me unlock my own and lift more than I would without it. I use similar music when running or cycling and have had to learn not to mime along with all of the words, especially Faith No More gentle art of making enemies and the like, people can get offended when lip-reading, not good.
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